Writing Life

Nothing to be ashamed of

     About two weeks ago, I saw the video of the guy who announced his wives pregnancy to her. About three days after that, I saw the video where they announced that they had suffered a miscarriage. The comments below it were ridiculous, some saying that “this is why you don’t announce your pregnancy so early” others just thought they were faking a miscarriage and pregnancy.
     Today, someone who announced their pregnancy a few weeks before I did (because they were due a few weeks before me) had a weird status update it basically said they were feeling devastated. My mind immediately jumped to the worst case scenario, which was that something happened to their baby. Even though I don’t really know the guy, I messaged him to see if I could help them out in any way, and he told me that everything was taken care of right now, but that they had lost their baby in the middle of the pregnancy, and they didn’t know why. It must be pregnancy hormones, because I have wanted to cry since he told me.
     I am assuming that since they were a few weeks ahead of me, they went for their ultrasound yesterday, and found out that they had lost their baby.
I went for an early ultrasound yesterday too, we now know the sex of our baby, and that everything looks great. Finding out news like this is a big fear of mine, because it’s happened to me before.
     I don’t talk much about my first pregnancy, because it is still very painful. I missed my period, took a test, and found out I was pregnant. I made an appointment and when I went, expecting to see a 10 week old fetus, the ultrasound technician told me that I was about 5 weeks along, and that they couldn’t tell me anything until later. Knowing that I should be much further along than 5 weeks, I explained this to the tech, she nonchalantly told me I probably miscarried but that we would do bloodwork to check my levels. I got my blood taken twice, and they called to tell me that I would miscarry. I misscarried the night before Obama went into office, talk about a double whammy. It was the most painful, both physically and mentally, thing I have ever been through.
      And no one knew about it. I called into work the next day and caught hell for calling in due to cramps. No one knew when they announced their pregnancy, that I was dealing with my own loss. I suffered alone, the only people who knew were my husband, and my best friend who also happened to be pregnant. It doesn’t hurt any less if people don’t know about it, it just means that they have no idea what’s going on. Not many people know about it still, my mom knows and some of the people in my family know, it’s not something that I really broadcast, but it’s not something I’m going to be ashamed of either. It is something that I have carried with me in both of my last two pregnancies, it’s the reason that I have the fetal doppler, it’s the reason I am doing my best to only eat organic food, the reason that I count milligrams of caffeine like a crazy person.  It’s the reason I hated being pregnant with my daughter, because I worried nonstop. I guess that’s why the comments on the YouTube video really bothered me, because it doesn’t matter if they announced it too early (in your opinion), it was still a baby, and it is something that they will never get over.
     With both of my last two pregnancies, I have announced them really early. I told family around 5 weeks and Facebook at 12 weeks for Juliana and 10 weeks for baby W. I announced early because every baby deserves to be Celebrated, whether they are born or not. I announced them early because I knew my family would be praying for a healthy baby, and so far it’s worked. With this pregnancy, I have refused to be a worry wart, whatever happens will happen whether I worry or not. I’m not going to worry because I know that I’ve always been taken care of and that I always will be. Tonight my heart is hurting for a beautiful couple going through every parent’s nightmare, so if you pray, pray for them, I know I will be.

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Finding out whether there is a brother or sister in mommy's tummy!

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This entry was posted on August 20, 2015 by in About Me, fear, life, Loss, Parenting, Pregnancy and tagged , , , , , , , .
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About Me

Lyndsi

Lyndsi

I am a married mother of 1. I work as a stylist during the day, and at night I care for my toddler and husband. In my household, I work to create a balance between ancient methods of self care and the more convenient methods of today.

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