Writing Life

Unsolicited Advice


  I don’t know if it’s my pregnancy or if I’ve just stopped giving a crap what people think, but seriously I’m getting so over parenting advice. You see, there is a right way and a wrong way to give it… and lately people seem to only know the wrong way. To point out a problem with my parenting style and say “you need to do something about that” is the wrong way. I actually like getting good advice, in fact, I welcome it since I do not know all there is to know about parenting. Good advice usually goes something like this… you seem to have this problem, I tried this, and it worked for my child. Basically, you’ve identified the problem and you have offered a solution, I am eternally grateful. But then there is the other way, the way that makes me want to punch you in the face, here are a few examples, along with appropriate responses.

1. You better stop gaining weight, you will never lose all of that!
Frankly, I hope to become so disgusting that my husband never wants to touch me again… thereby avoiding this situation in the future.
(I heard this so many freaking times that I almost developed an eating disorder while pregnant. Here’s the deal, I had preeclampsia, I was swollen, so screw all of those people. Also on another note, I lost all of that weight, plus 5 pounds, and I was a size two when I got pregnant this time. Don’t worry about weight gain.)

2. You better put her down, you’re going to spoil her.
That’s what they are for… to spoil. Back off.

3. You better put her down, she’s never going to walk.
As if I want her to, it’s hard enough with her just crawling.

4. If you rock her to sleep every night you’re never going to get her to sleep on her own.
Who says I don’t want to rock her to sleep after her first prom?

5. You need to do something about her separation anxiety.
I tried beating her so that she would be excited to get away from me, but it didn’t work. On another note… seriously, separation anxiety is no joke.

6. You should do something about her waking up in the middle of the night.
I tried locking her in her room, but the little booger figured out how to pick locks… I guess she’s just a genius.

7. She clings to you, you need to fix that before the baby comes.
My baby loves me… don’t be a hater.

8. She doesn’t share well.
Umm, she’s two, I don’t share well either come to think of it.

9. She snacks all the time.
That way I don’t have to make dinner… win/win.

10. She drinks a lot of juice.
I used to drink a lot of juice too, but one day, I woke up and realized I had a problem…

Seriously, I appreciate advice, but criticism of my child is just straight irritating. She is clingy, she does have separation anxiety, she doesn’t share well… I know all of these things, and I worry about these things constantly… seriously, if you don’t have a solution don’t point out the problem. Parenting is really hard, I don’t have all the answers, but the thing is, the people pointing out the flaws in my child seem to forget that I’ve met their children too and they are far from perfect. Rant over.


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About Me



I am a married mother of 1. I work as a stylist during the day, and at night I care for my toddler and husband. In my household, I work to create a balance between ancient methods of self care and the more convenient methods of today.

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